the "I'm high maintenance" / "I take Aspirin"
has come to my attention that a number of sites and/or vendors
have been selling unauthorized versions of one of my t-shirts. I
have been selling this particular shirt since 2003, based on a bit
I wrote between 2001 and 2002. There are many thousands of copies
of this original t-shirt walking around on the backs of the many
fine people I have had the pleasure of meeting. The original
t-shirt, designed by me with artwork supplied by my nephew Brent,
looks like this:
This shirt has been printed by the awesome folks at Wildwood Productions
since its inception. As you can see, it's a cute little shirt with
my bit written on the back for all who appreciate the joke to
enjoy. Unfortunately, it seems someone decided to enjoy themselves
a stolen copy of the shirt, which several vendors have been
selling, lining their pockets using my hard work. Mind you, most
of the people selling the shirt have no idea it belongs to me. The
most-repeated forgery often goes under the title "I'm high
maintenance" (which often appears on the front), begins the back
text with "I take Aspirin", and looks like this:
The front varies depending on who is selling it, but often
includes the sentence, "I'm high maintenance". I will not list the
names of the vendors who have cooperated in removing this stolen
item, as they have demonstrated at least a modicum of decency.
However, it seems every time I stamp out an "I'm high maintenance"
t-shirt vendor, another one pops up.
This is where you come in. Please feel free to contact me via this
website should you discover this shirt "I'm high maintenance"
/ "I take Aspirin" t-shirt being sold elsewhere. It is
almost always in light blue, with the same misspellings of
Xenical™ (which they spell "Zenikal") and Scopoderm TTS™ (spelled
"Scopederm Ts"), with the same addition of "regular chiropractic
care" and deletion of Viagra™ and Propecia™.
It is sad that such an obvious derivation has managed to spread so
far. It was clearly transcribed from audio (note the phonetic
spelling of Xenical™), either by dictation, from my CD, or
directly from one of my many, many live performances of this bit.
I'm also a little embarrassed it took me this long (some of these
are dated back to 2010) to notice this. I guess I don't spend
enough time Googling my bits to see who might be stealing them.
Again, feel free to contact me (email@example.com)
should you discover a vendor who has yet to remove this
unauthorized version of my original work. Also, I'm sorry about
this lame skeleton of a website. I was supposed to have a store
and a schedule up long ago. Webmaster problems.
Thank you sincerely,